“我的儿子建宇
建宇啊，我跟你母亲昨天晚上根本就睡不着，一起聊着有关你小时候的事。
有时候爸爸看着你，心里就会有一种想法：我怎么会这么有福气当了你的爸爸？你从小到大从来没有让父母为你担心。你是个乖孩子。也许你爷爷听了会骂：爸爸赞美自己的儿子是没出息的事。但是，爸爸并不是编故事，所以相信爷爷也会原谅爸爸的。爸爸真的是以你为荣。不是因为你会念书，或是拿到学位才以你为荣，而是在这个混乱的世界里，你从来不会动摇，还坚强地过日子。所以爸爸觉得很骄傲。
你跟承珠是因为爱才要结婚，但是生活上有时候会对彼此失望，又有的时候遇到一些困难而感到辛苦。在这个时候，就像你过去的态度一样，要有智慧，要有耐心，平安地度过每个危机。
爸爸对你感到非常抱歉的是，在物质方面，爸爸从来没有提供你非常富裕的环境。这点很抱歉。但是，爸爸跟妈妈会比任何人都还要祝福你们两个人的爱情。就像过去一样，永远都不会变。希望你跟承珠以后过着幸福的日子。
建宇阿，爸爸要说一语，过去因为害羞而不敢说出来的话，当作今天的结语：我儿子建宇，爸爸非常爱你，你一定要幸福。”
“我亲爱的女儿承珠
像今天这么开心的日子，你母亲竟然没办法一起参与，真是令人遗憾。
我想跟你说的只有两件事。第一就是：不管在那里你都要站在你丈夫建宇这一边。第二就是：你要尊重你的丈夫，要不断地鼓励她。不知道从什么时候开始我们不懂得怎么赞美别人，但至少家人之间不可以这样，尤其夫妻间更不可以这样。当建宇辛苦的时候，你要好好的安慰他。
我的宝贝女儿，因为爸爸不好，所以你结婚的时候却还要为娘家担心。爸爸真的很对不起你。像这么开心的日子让你成为没有母亲的新娘子真的很对不起你。但是连你母亲那一份，爸爸会一起祝福你。
承珠不要哭，爸爸很开心。”
Monday, May 18, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
why cannot say 'shut up'?
The kids were talking about anything and everything under the sun as usual in the car when I was sending them to their grandparent's place after I picked them up from the childcare centre. Out of nowhere, Kai Kai told Ying Ying to "shut up", and Ying Ying quickly followed with another "shut up".
I interrupted their conversation instantly and said, "Kai Kai, you should not say that. Asking someone to 'shut up' is very rude."
"But uncle, why is saying 'shut up' very rude?"
I know the kids were waiting for my answer but I just could not think of a most appropriate response immediately. I said, "If you think that 'mei mei' is speaking too loudly, you can ask her to speak softer. If you want to tell her something but she is talking, you can ask her to listen to you or wait for her to finish talking."
"But my teacher also say 'shut up'. How come big people can say 'shut up' but children cannot?"
All my eighteen years of schooling and twelve years of teaching has not prepared me for questions like this. The best I could come up with was a lame excuse for the adult.
"Your teacher made a mistake. Next time she says 'shut up', you can be a nice boy and tell her that Uncle says it is impolite to say 'shut up'."
To "recapitulate" the "lesson" before I drop them off, I asked 4-year-old Kai Kai, "Instead of asking people to 'shut up', what should we say?" My smart nephew turned to his 3-year-old sister and said, "We should say 'please speak softly' or 'please listen to me'." Ying Ying nodded and said, "Orh..."
As I drove home, I began to worry if his teacher would jump and smack him for being rude and arrogant when he corrects her in class. Did I just get my little nephew into trouble?
I interrupted their conversation instantly and said, "Kai Kai, you should not say that. Asking someone to 'shut up' is very rude."
"But uncle, why is saying 'shut up' very rude?"
I know the kids were waiting for my answer but I just could not think of a most appropriate response immediately. I said, "If you think that 'mei mei' is speaking too loudly, you can ask her to speak softer. If you want to tell her something but she is talking, you can ask her to listen to you or wait for her to finish talking."
"But my teacher also say 'shut up'. How come big people can say 'shut up' but children cannot?"
All my eighteen years of schooling and twelve years of teaching has not prepared me for questions like this. The best I could come up with was a lame excuse for the adult.
"Your teacher made a mistake. Next time she says 'shut up', you can be a nice boy and tell her that Uncle says it is impolite to say 'shut up'."
To "recapitulate" the "lesson" before I drop them off, I asked 4-year-old Kai Kai, "Instead of asking people to 'shut up', what should we say?" My smart nephew turned to his 3-year-old sister and said, "We should say 'please speak softly' or 'please listen to me'." Ying Ying nodded and said, "Orh..."
As I drove home, I began to worry if his teacher would jump and smack him for being rude and arrogant when he corrects her in class. Did I just get my little nephew into trouble?
Monday, May 11, 2009
what cgh said
I'm finally going to write about this.
On 15th April, that stand-in doctor at CGH told me I have a nodule on my left lung.
This is how Wikipedia explain "nodule": Nodule (medicine), a small aggregation of cells. In medicine, a nodule refers to a relatively hard, roughly spherical abnormal structure. Nodules may form on tendons and muscles in response to injury. The vocal cords may also develop nodules. Nodules are normally benign and often painless, although they can affect the functioning of the organ.
The doctor said that there is 80% chance that it is benign. And all I can think of is the remaining 20%. That's the real me in action - pessimistic. He said that there is a window period of 2 years and I've just crossed the 1 year mark. But then who is so sure to say that all will be ok after two years?
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Respiratory-Disorders/Lung-Nodules/show/283171
"May 18, 2004 12:00AM
Question:
My husband had a chest x-ray done approx. 2 wks ago. It showed a 1cm nodule in the lower right lobe. He is being scheduled for a CT scan. He smoked for years but has been smoke free for months. Also about 5 years ago he had a positive TB test and he took medication for that. He was also getting over some type of sinus infection approx. 1 wk before the chest xray was done. He is 59. What do you think this nodule could be? Also, he has never had a CT scan before, how is this done. He is pretty healthy. He does not take any type of medication. Thanks for all the help.
May 20, 2004 12:00AM
Doctor's answer:
A nodule is usually a small, round shadow seen on chest x-ray anywhere in the lungs. Nodules are due to infections, inflammation, or tumors. This could be a tuberculous granuloma, which is a harmless reminder of the positive TB test that your husband had about 5 years ago. Since the nodule is 1 centimeter in size it is very unlikely to be cancer. Your husband will need to have more testing done to know what this could be. A chest CT scan is usually the next test that is done because it is more sensitive and shows more detail than a chest x-ray. The shape, smoothness and density of the nodule will be seen on the CT scan. This will help in determining what this could be."
http://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.cfm?pageid=P93016
"What are Pulmonary Nodules?
A pulmonary nodule is a small, roundish growth on the lung—sometimes called a spot on the lung—that is easy to find and hard to diagnose. Pulmonary nodules turn up in about one of every 500 chest x-rays. But because they can be a form of early-stage cancer, it’s important to distinguish a benign nodule from a cancerous nodule as early as possible. Therefore, doctors approach every pulmonary nodule as cancerous until they can prove otherwise.
If a spot on the lung has a diameter of three centimeters or less, it’s called a nodule. If it’s bigger than that, it’s called a mass and undergoes a different evaluation process. About 40 percent of pulmonary nodules turn out to be cancerous. Half of all patients treated for a cancerous pulmonary nodule live at least five years past the diagnosis. But if the nodule is one centimeter across or smaller, survival after five years rises to 80 percent. That’s why early detection is critical.
Treating Pulmonary Nodules
In almost every case, benign pulmonary nodules require no treatment. Cancerous nodules, however, usually are treated by removing them surgically. Several surgical procedures are used, depending on the size, condition and location of the nodule."
Actually the more I read, the more worried I become. Though not TERRIBLY worried, but I'm certainly more worried this time then when I had TB years ago.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/lung-nodules/an01082
"Can lung nodules be cancerous?
Answer (from Edward C. Rosenow III, M.D.)
Although most lung nodules are noncancerous (benign), some represent early-stage lung cancer.
Lung nodules — small masses of tissue in the lung — are quite common. They appear as round, white shadows on a chest X-ray or computerized tomography (CT) scan.
Your doctor may compare your current chest X-ray or CT scan with a previous one. If the nodule appears in earlier scans and hasn't changed in size, shape or appearance, it's probably noncancerous. Causes of noncancerous lung nodules include histoplasmosis, tuberculosis, lung cysts and vascular abnormalities. Such nodules usually require no treatment.
However, if a nodule is new or has changed in size, shape or appearance, your doctor may recommend further testing — such as a CT scan, positron emission tomography (PET) scan or tissue biopsy — to determine if it is cancerous."
Alright, I think I've read enough about nodules for a night. And I finally told mum. I had to, hadn't I?
On 15th April, that stand-in doctor at CGH told me I have a nodule on my left lung.
This is how Wikipedia explain "nodule": Nodule (medicine), a small aggregation of cells. In medicine, a nodule refers to a relatively hard, roughly spherical abnormal structure. Nodules may form on tendons and muscles in response to injury. The vocal cords may also develop nodules. Nodules are normally benign and often painless, although they can affect the functioning of the organ.
The doctor said that there is 80% chance that it is benign. And all I can think of is the remaining 20%. That's the real me in action - pessimistic. He said that there is a window period of 2 years and I've just crossed the 1 year mark. But then who is so sure to say that all will be ok after two years?
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Respiratory-Disorders/Lung-Nodules/show/283171
"May 18, 2004 12:00AM
Question:
My husband had a chest x-ray done approx. 2 wks ago. It showed a 1cm nodule in the lower right lobe. He is being scheduled for a CT scan. He smoked for years but has been smoke free for months. Also about 5 years ago he had a positive TB test and he took medication for that. He was also getting over some type of sinus infection approx. 1 wk before the chest xray was done. He is 59. What do you think this nodule could be? Also, he has never had a CT scan before, how is this done. He is pretty healthy. He does not take any type of medication. Thanks for all the help.
May 20, 2004 12:00AM
Doctor's answer:
A nodule is usually a small, round shadow seen on chest x-ray anywhere in the lungs. Nodules are due to infections, inflammation, or tumors. This could be a tuberculous granuloma, which is a harmless reminder of the positive TB test that your husband had about 5 years ago. Since the nodule is 1 centimeter in size it is very unlikely to be cancer. Your husband will need to have more testing done to know what this could be. A chest CT scan is usually the next test that is done because it is more sensitive and shows more detail than a chest x-ray. The shape, smoothness and density of the nodule will be seen on the CT scan. This will help in determining what this could be."
http://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.cfm?pageid=P93016
"What are Pulmonary Nodules?
A pulmonary nodule is a small, roundish growth on the lung—sometimes called a spot on the lung—that is easy to find and hard to diagnose. Pulmonary nodules turn up in about one of every 500 chest x-rays. But because they can be a form of early-stage cancer, it’s important to distinguish a benign nodule from a cancerous nodule as early as possible. Therefore, doctors approach every pulmonary nodule as cancerous until they can prove otherwise.
If a spot on the lung has a diameter of three centimeters or less, it’s called a nodule. If it’s bigger than that, it’s called a mass and undergoes a different evaluation process. About 40 percent of pulmonary nodules turn out to be cancerous. Half of all patients treated for a cancerous pulmonary nodule live at least five years past the diagnosis. But if the nodule is one centimeter across or smaller, survival after five years rises to 80 percent. That’s why early detection is critical.
Treating Pulmonary Nodules
In almost every case, benign pulmonary nodules require no treatment. Cancerous nodules, however, usually are treated by removing them surgically. Several surgical procedures are used, depending on the size, condition and location of the nodule."
Actually the more I read, the more worried I become. Though not TERRIBLY worried, but I'm certainly more worried this time then when I had TB years ago.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/lung-nodules/an01082
"Can lung nodules be cancerous?
Answer (from Edward C. Rosenow III, M.D.)
Although most lung nodules are noncancerous (benign), some represent early-stage lung cancer.
Lung nodules — small masses of tissue in the lung — are quite common. They appear as round, white shadows on a chest X-ray or computerized tomography (CT) scan.
Your doctor may compare your current chest X-ray or CT scan with a previous one. If the nodule appears in earlier scans and hasn't changed in size, shape or appearance, it's probably noncancerous. Causes of noncancerous lung nodules include histoplasmosis, tuberculosis, lung cysts and vascular abnormalities. Such nodules usually require no treatment.
However, if a nodule is new or has changed in size, shape or appearance, your doctor may recommend further testing — such as a CT scan, positron emission tomography (PET) scan or tissue biopsy — to determine if it is cancerous."
Alright, I think I've read enough about nodules for a night. And I finally told mum. I had to, hadn't I?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
first appointment
on 050509, i signed the papers.
why?
because ah chun is a very nice lady and i don't know how to say "no".
when i told the son that he should ask the agent to go ahead and advertise, i was thinking that was it and that i would probably never hear from them again. phew.
but then ah chun told the son that price is not the matter. she only wants to sell to me.
so how could i say "no"?
come 300609, 712 will be mine :)-
i told ah chun to take her time and not rush to move out. i have no use for the new place anyway.
after settling the papers, we had lunch at ritz with uncle and auntie. lovely, lovely lunch. and then auntie and me went to spa@paragon and continued the relaxing afternoon.
splendid :)
lovely.
i am so lucky.
why?
because ah chun is a very nice lady and i don't know how to say "no".
when i told the son that he should ask the agent to go ahead and advertise, i was thinking that was it and that i would probably never hear from them again. phew.
but then ah chun told the son that price is not the matter. she only wants to sell to me.
so how could i say "no"?
come 300609, 712 will be mine :)-
i told ah chun to take her time and not rush to move out. i have no use for the new place anyway.
after settling the papers, we had lunch at ritz with uncle and auntie. lovely, lovely lunch. and then auntie and me went to spa@paragon and continued the relaxing afternoon.
splendid :)
lovely.
i am so lucky.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
danny boy
since i'm on the subject of "danny" ...
for some reason, the simple tune gets to me everytime i hear it.
when i was alone in dublin (in June/July 2000) and went to the youth orchestra concert, the female violinist played this and i got very moved.
touching voice - declan galbraith
instrumental versions
crystal clear voice - hayley westenra
powerful voice - charlotte church
mature men - king's singers
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.
And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.
And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
for some reason, the simple tune gets to me everytime i hear it.
when i was alone in dublin (in June/July 2000) and went to the youth orchestra concert, the female violinist played this and i got very moved.
touching voice - declan galbraith
instrumental versions
crystal clear voice - hayley westenra
powerful voice - charlotte church
mature men - king's singers
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.
And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.
And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
Friday, May 1, 2009
danny's wedding
left the dinner before it ended.
i think this could possibly be the most emotional wedding dinner i've attended.
i cried at bro's wedding because i thought dad should have been around to see what has become of bro and to feel the joy and be proud of him. and i always do. when kai kai was born; when ying ying was born; at kai kai's and ying ying's birthdays; when we flew to brunei and had that lovely tea at the lovely hotel; when the kids said or did something amazing; when we took pictures ... i always got emotional and had tears in my eyes.
but tonite was different. this is danny. this is danny poh. the boy got married.
i left the dinner before it ended. and on the way back, i teared at the wheels.
this is the danny from my 3A1, 4A1 and 5A1. he was laterally transferred from an express class into my n(a) class. and he was not easy at all. he already had a reputation before he came to the class. "danny poh" was not a name unknown to the staff. but somehow, somewhere along the line, he changed. and i'm so proud of him.
tonite i cried because danny validated my 10 years in the service. this is the best "long-service award" i've received. compared to that momento and certificate i received from the g.o.h. (i can't remember who). this is a hundred times better.
i came back home and re-read all the mails danny had written me over the years. this boy completed poly and went to NTU. he was on the dean's list and finished with a first-class honours. he wrote about his family, about his studies, army, work, girlfriend, and his wife :)
thanks for inviting me to tonite's dinner. thank you, danny. thank you for letting me know that i did something right.
i wish you and serene all the best. have a wonderful marriage.
i think this could possibly be the most emotional wedding dinner i've attended.
i cried at bro's wedding because i thought dad should have been around to see what has become of bro and to feel the joy and be proud of him. and i always do. when kai kai was born; when ying ying was born; at kai kai's and ying ying's birthdays; when we flew to brunei and had that lovely tea at the lovely hotel; when the kids said or did something amazing; when we took pictures ... i always got emotional and had tears in my eyes.
but tonite was different. this is danny. this is danny poh. the boy got married.
i left the dinner before it ended. and on the way back, i teared at the wheels.
this is the danny from my 3A1, 4A1 and 5A1. he was laterally transferred from an express class into my n(a) class. and he was not easy at all. he already had a reputation before he came to the class. "danny poh" was not a name unknown to the staff. but somehow, somewhere along the line, he changed. and i'm so proud of him.
tonite i cried because danny validated my 10 years in the service. this is the best "long-service award" i've received. compared to that momento and certificate i received from the g.o.h. (i can't remember who). this is a hundred times better.
i came back home and re-read all the mails danny had written me over the years. this boy completed poly and went to NTU. he was on the dean's list and finished with a first-class honours. he wrote about his family, about his studies, army, work, girlfriend, and his wife :)
thanks for inviting me to tonite's dinner. thank you, danny. thank you for letting me know that i did something right.
i wish you and serene all the best. have a wonderful marriage.
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