Sunday, December 19, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
one direction
"They auditioned as solo singers and were told at boot camp that they weren't going through. After everyone else was told whether they were going to the judges houses, their names were called and Simon/Louis said that they weren't good enough as solo singers but were too good to let go, so Simon formed them into a group.
she said "stunning".
i like how the talent shows (outside Singapore) are "developmental". the boys grew, from being "outed" to a great group. bravo!
good luck, boys!
she said "stunning".
i like how the talent shows (outside Singapore) are "developmental". the boys grew, from being "outed" to a great group. bravo!
good luck, boys!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
stuck on a plane
The plane took off on time this morning at 0655 from Heathrow. It is now 1119 and we’re not in Edinburgh yet. We should have arrived at 0820 but we’re not going to be there anytime soon. The plane tried to land twice but had to rise back up both times. The captain came on and told us that we can either circle around a bit more since there’s ample fuel or the plane could land in Glasgow. Eventually we went towards Newcastle, which is where I’m writing from now. The captain reported that Edinburgh airport should reopen by noon and we’ll fuel up in Newcastle, take a break for 10 to 15 minutes and should be on our way to Edinburgh again. Just after the captain decided to head for Newcastle, news came that Glasgow airport is shut as well and that Edinburgh airport will only open after 1400.
Now we can either leave the plane, get on the bus to Newcastle station and hop on a train to Edinburgh or wait onboard and return to London when it’s time to fly again. Right now, they are arranging for those who want to hop off to pick out their luggage so they can continue their journey to Scotland. I’ve decided to return to London. Those of us going back to London will also have to get off the plane to identify our suitcases for security reasons.
I called Anne and Tony and told them that I’ll have to miss them this time. Anne is worried sick and said that she just saw on the news that the airport is shut again. When I called her last night, she asked repeatedly that I reconsider flying to Scotland. How could I not fly up to visit this dear couple when I’ve come all this far? I wrote briefly in the email that all will be fine and they should not worry and that I’m going to see them anyhow, unless the weather doesn’t permit. So here it is, the weather has not permitted. Anne sounded relieved when I said I’ve decided to turn back to London. In fact, she said, “Chong, as much as we’d love to see you, I think you should get on a plane quickly and get back to London.” This is a very special couple which I’ve become so fond of. We were going to take a picture together and send it to Laurie in the States to surprise her We’ll do it next time, and it won’t be another 6 years, I hope.
2010 has been a good year. The last month was pretty hectic but I wouldn’t have done it another way. Trying to complete two modules for masters at the same time didn’t sound that crazy until it was time to start work on the assignments, somewhere about half-way through the modules. Coupled with deadlines from work and my own weaknesses (mostly laziness and procrastination), I was only too happy to fly away as soon as I could. Now, thousands of miles away from all that was bothering me, I think home is really where I want to be. I miss my bed and my spot on the sofa; I miss the smell of coffee from my beautiful Nespresso machine in the morning; I missing seeing my reliable i-robot at work; I miss Kai Kai and Ying Ying; I miss mum; and surprisingly for the first time, I think I miss my brother too.
I brought “If I Get To Five” by Fred Epstein and Joshua Horwitz with me on this trip. Can’t remember why and where I got it from but I got it in December 2004.
(At this point, those who have decided to continue on to Edinburgh have gotten onto the bus and all suitcases have been identified and sorted. Those left on the plane have just stood up and pointed to the crew our carry-on bags. We should be going back to London soon.)
The book is about courage and character and what children can teach us about courage and character. Years into teaching and working with children plus the two heavenly additions into the family has got me into this business of kids and teens. They teach us so much, if only we would allow them to teach us. I’m just about to finish the book and I have to admit that there were tears and some flashbacks along the way.
So what is it about my brother that I missed this time? From the book p. 168 “Sibling relationships, for better or worse, never go away. You can’t divorce your brother or sister. They’re the first people you compete with for love and attention, and they’re usually destined to share more of life’s milestones with you than your spouse will. Who else remembers what you wore on Halloween when you were six? And who else saw your parents kissing or fighting? For all the inherent rivalry between siblings, they can also be one another’s lifeline in a crisis.” Though I don’t think we’ve got much competition and rivalry between us and we’ve never wore costumes nor paid attention to Halloween and we’ve never seen our parents kissed, we did unfortunately saw and heard our parents fought, mostly dad shouting and hurling abuses at mum. We’ve also had good moments with dad – dinners, kite flying, and if I remembered correctly, trips to the circus too.
A few special moments come to mind when I think of my brother. When we rode on his bike from NTU back home; when he sat next to mum while I tried to flip through my AC301 notes the day before my final exams outside dad’s ward the night he passed away; the day he broke down and cried in our kitchen and asked, “what do you want me to do?” I’ve not told him and I don’t think for that matter I’ve told anyone, that next to mum, bro is the dearest thing on earth to me. After all, since dad passed on, who’s left? This is why I didn’t think for another second when I brought him and Annie the watches at Bazel. If there is $1 left in my wallet, fifty cents will go to mum and bro will get the other half; If mum is not around, he’ll get the whole dollar.
I never got over the incident of leaving brother sitting at the back of the lorry when dad’s body was brought back home from the hospital. I remembered it was a rather chilly early morning and now all I can think of was how cold and beaten my brother would have felt when he was at the back with dad’s body. I was crying the whole journey home and I am sure it was not easy for him either. I’m ashamed of myself, my insensitivity and my selfishness. I should have gone to the back instead and let bro take the seat at the front. I still don’t think that brother would have been scared of the dead body but that he would have been sad and lost and I really should have taken that seat, or stayed with him, just for company. This, for fifteens years now, I still can’t forgive myself.
Christmas is a time of giving and celebrating love. I send cards to friends I treasure to thank them for their friendship and to wish them well. This season, I’ve had the chance to think about what I’m sorry for. I know there are things that I should have done better but I’m afraid to commit and say that I’ll do them better in the new year. I wish I could, but I’m just not that confident.
At this new school that I’m with now, I’m not as confident as I used to be in my former school. I guess this is good for my personal development, as many would say. My immediate boss is one of the best I’ve worked with and I count myself very lucky that I got to join this team. When things are not easy and comfortable, they force one to strive harder and more learning takes place. I’ve never been ambitious, but I like to learn. What I love more, is to be able to share my learning. I like to watch children learn and grow and I like to help. But I think I’ve taken a bit too long this time to “get used to” and settle down. Perhaps I’m just not good enough. Someone else better and faster would be able to do this job quicker and better. I think I’ll give myself another 6 months, and after that, I’ll decide if I want to leave or stay. I like the school and I love the kids I’m working with, I just don’t think I’m good enough for this job.
This year, I’ve “pushed” back too many kids whom I should, and would have loved to, get closer to. Between work and studies, I turned myself away many times under the cover of “self-care”. It might be the right thing to do but it is really not what I’d have liked to do. I still have one more deadline next May for the masters and quite a few things I’d like to straighten up in the department. My simple guideline at work for the past year has been to complete as much as I can, one thing at a time. I marvel at how my leaders can juggle twenty balls at the same time and still keep everything in balance. I learn to work with difficult people and think of myself as the difficult one instead. Otherwise, I am humbled by what’s happened and what’s happening everyday.
This “horrendous” day, as the Captain described it to be, turned out to be a pretty good one for me so far. Of those who got on the plane this morning, I’m sure there are at least fifty of them trying to get from London to Edinburgh for business. These must be important people in their businesses, making money-decisions affecting many others. If they can be still and calm and patient in the plane now at 1243, what have I got to complain about? So I think this is where I tell myself that when things happen, just take them as they come. At the end of the day, if we get home, we should all be thankful.
writing on BD050,
currently at Newcastle Airport waiting to take off and head back to London Heathrow
6 Dec 2010
p/s plane took off from Newcastle at 1330 and arrived safely in London Heathrow at 1430. Collected the bags at 1530 and back to Hammondsworth by 1600. All is good
(I think I like this calm and collected me. No fuss, just move along.)
Now we can either leave the plane, get on the bus to Newcastle station and hop on a train to Edinburgh or wait onboard and return to London when it’s time to fly again. Right now, they are arranging for those who want to hop off to pick out their luggage so they can continue their journey to Scotland. I’ve decided to return to London. Those of us going back to London will also have to get off the plane to identify our suitcases for security reasons.
I called Anne and Tony and told them that I’ll have to miss them this time. Anne is worried sick and said that she just saw on the news that the airport is shut again. When I called her last night, she asked repeatedly that I reconsider flying to Scotland. How could I not fly up to visit this dear couple when I’ve come all this far? I wrote briefly in the email that all will be fine and they should not worry and that I’m going to see them anyhow, unless the weather doesn’t permit. So here it is, the weather has not permitted. Anne sounded relieved when I said I’ve decided to turn back to London. In fact, she said, “Chong, as much as we’d love to see you, I think you should get on a plane quickly and get back to London.” This is a very special couple which I’ve become so fond of. We were going to take a picture together and send it to Laurie in the States to surprise her We’ll do it next time, and it won’t be another 6 years, I hope.
2010 has been a good year. The last month was pretty hectic but I wouldn’t have done it another way. Trying to complete two modules for masters at the same time didn’t sound that crazy until it was time to start work on the assignments, somewhere about half-way through the modules. Coupled with deadlines from work and my own weaknesses (mostly laziness and procrastination), I was only too happy to fly away as soon as I could. Now, thousands of miles away from all that was bothering me, I think home is really where I want to be. I miss my bed and my spot on the sofa; I miss the smell of coffee from my beautiful Nespresso machine in the morning; I missing seeing my reliable i-robot at work; I miss Kai Kai and Ying Ying; I miss mum; and surprisingly for the first time, I think I miss my brother too.
I brought “If I Get To Five” by Fred Epstein and Joshua Horwitz with me on this trip. Can’t remember why and where I got it from but I got it in December 2004.
(At this point, those who have decided to continue on to Edinburgh have gotten onto the bus and all suitcases have been identified and sorted. Those left on the plane have just stood up and pointed to the crew our carry-on bags. We should be going back to London soon.)
The book is about courage and character and what children can teach us about courage and character. Years into teaching and working with children plus the two heavenly additions into the family has got me into this business of kids and teens. They teach us so much, if only we would allow them to teach us. I’m just about to finish the book and I have to admit that there were tears and some flashbacks along the way.
So what is it about my brother that I missed this time? From the book p. 168 “Sibling relationships, for better or worse, never go away. You can’t divorce your brother or sister. They’re the first people you compete with for love and attention, and they’re usually destined to share more of life’s milestones with you than your spouse will. Who else remembers what you wore on Halloween when you were six? And who else saw your parents kissing or fighting? For all the inherent rivalry between siblings, they can also be one another’s lifeline in a crisis.” Though I don’t think we’ve got much competition and rivalry between us and we’ve never wore costumes nor paid attention to Halloween and we’ve never seen our parents kissed, we did unfortunately saw and heard our parents fought, mostly dad shouting and hurling abuses at mum. We’ve also had good moments with dad – dinners, kite flying, and if I remembered correctly, trips to the circus too.
A few special moments come to mind when I think of my brother. When we rode on his bike from NTU back home; when he sat next to mum while I tried to flip through my AC301 notes the day before my final exams outside dad’s ward the night he passed away; the day he broke down and cried in our kitchen and asked, “what do you want me to do?” I’ve not told him and I don’t think for that matter I’ve told anyone, that next to mum, bro is the dearest thing on earth to me. After all, since dad passed on, who’s left? This is why I didn’t think for another second when I brought him and Annie the watches at Bazel. If there is $1 left in my wallet, fifty cents will go to mum and bro will get the other half; If mum is not around, he’ll get the whole dollar.
I never got over the incident of leaving brother sitting at the back of the lorry when dad’s body was brought back home from the hospital. I remembered it was a rather chilly early morning and now all I can think of was how cold and beaten my brother would have felt when he was at the back with dad’s body. I was crying the whole journey home and I am sure it was not easy for him either. I’m ashamed of myself, my insensitivity and my selfishness. I should have gone to the back instead and let bro take the seat at the front. I still don’t think that brother would have been scared of the dead body but that he would have been sad and lost and I really should have taken that seat, or stayed with him, just for company. This, for fifteens years now, I still can’t forgive myself.
Christmas is a time of giving and celebrating love. I send cards to friends I treasure to thank them for their friendship and to wish them well. This season, I’ve had the chance to think about what I’m sorry for. I know there are things that I should have done better but I’m afraid to commit and say that I’ll do them better in the new year. I wish I could, but I’m just not that confident.
At this new school that I’m with now, I’m not as confident as I used to be in my former school. I guess this is good for my personal development, as many would say. My immediate boss is one of the best I’ve worked with and I count myself very lucky that I got to join this team. When things are not easy and comfortable, they force one to strive harder and more learning takes place. I’ve never been ambitious, but I like to learn. What I love more, is to be able to share my learning. I like to watch children learn and grow and I like to help. But I think I’ve taken a bit too long this time to “get used to” and settle down. Perhaps I’m just not good enough. Someone else better and faster would be able to do this job quicker and better. I think I’ll give myself another 6 months, and after that, I’ll decide if I want to leave or stay. I like the school and I love the kids I’m working with, I just don’t think I’m good enough for this job.
This year, I’ve “pushed” back too many kids whom I should, and would have loved to, get closer to. Between work and studies, I turned myself away many times under the cover of “self-care”. It might be the right thing to do but it is really not what I’d have liked to do. I still have one more deadline next May for the masters and quite a few things I’d like to straighten up in the department. My simple guideline at work for the past year has been to complete as much as I can, one thing at a time. I marvel at how my leaders can juggle twenty balls at the same time and still keep everything in balance. I learn to work with difficult people and think of myself as the difficult one instead. Otherwise, I am humbled by what’s happened and what’s happening everyday.
This “horrendous” day, as the Captain described it to be, turned out to be a pretty good one for me so far. Of those who got on the plane this morning, I’m sure there are at least fifty of them trying to get from London to Edinburgh for business. These must be important people in their businesses, making money-decisions affecting many others. If they can be still and calm and patient in the plane now at 1243, what have I got to complain about? So I think this is where I tell myself that when things happen, just take them as they come. At the end of the day, if we get home, we should all be thankful.
writing on BD050,
currently at Newcastle Airport waiting to take off and head back to London Heathrow
6 Dec 2010
p/s plane took off from Newcastle at 1330 and arrived safely in London Heathrow at 1430. Collected the bags at 1530 and back to Hammondsworth by 1600. All is good
(I think I like this calm and collected me. No fuss, just move along.)
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