mr ege's music class, 1 Dec 2010

one direction

"They auditioned as solo singers and were told at boot camp that they weren't going through. After everyone else was told whether they were going to the judges houses, their names were called and Simon/Louis said that they weren't good enough as solo singers but were too good to let go, so Simon formed them into a group.

she said "stunning".


i like how the talent shows (outside Singapore) are "developmental". the boys grew, from being "outed" to a great group. bravo!


good luck, boys!

stuck on a plane

The plane took off on time this morning at 0655 from Heathrow. It is now 1119 and we’re not in Edinburgh yet. We should have arrived at 0820 but we’re not going to be there anytime soon. The plane tried to land twice but had to rise back up both times. The captain came on and told us that we can either circle around a bit more since there’s ample fuel or the plane could land in Glasgow. Eventually we went towards Newcastle, which is where I’m writing from now. The captain reported that Edinburgh airport should reopen by noon and we’ll fuel up in Newcastle, take a break for 10 to 15 minutes and should be on our way to Edinburgh again. Just after the captain decided to head for Newcastle, news came that Glasgow airport is shut as well and that Edinburgh airport will only open after 1400.

Now we can either leave the plane, get on the bus to Newcastle station and hop on a train to Edinburgh or wait onboard and return to London when it’s time to fly again. Right now, they are arranging for those who want to hop off to pick out their luggage so they can continue their journey to Scotland. I’ve decided to return to London. Those of us going back to London will also have to get off the plane to identify our suitcases for security reasons.

I called Anne and Tony and told them that I’ll have to miss them this time. Anne is worried sick and said that she just saw on the news that the airport is shut again. When I called her last night, she asked repeatedly that I reconsider flying to Scotland. How could I not fly up to visit this dear couple when I’ve come all this far? I wrote briefly in the email that all will be fine and they should not worry and that I’m going to see them anyhow, unless the weather doesn’t permit. So here it is, the weather has not permitted. Anne sounded relieved when I said I’ve decided to turn back to London. In fact, she said, “Chong, as much as we’d love to see you, I think you should get on a plane quickly and get back to London.” This is a very special couple which I’ve become so fond of. We were going to take a picture together and send it to Laurie in the States to surprise her  We’ll do it next time, and it won’t be another 6 years, I hope.

2010 has been a good year. The last month was pretty hectic but I wouldn’t have done it another way. Trying to complete two modules for masters at the same time didn’t sound that crazy until it was time to start work on the assignments, somewhere about half-way through the modules. Coupled with deadlines from work and my own weaknesses (mostly laziness and procrastination), I was only too happy to fly away as soon as I could. Now, thousands of miles away from all that was bothering me, I think home is really where I want to be. I miss my bed and my spot on the sofa; I miss the smell of coffee from my beautiful Nespresso machine in the morning; I missing seeing my reliable i-robot at work; I miss Kai Kai and Ying Ying; I miss mum; and surprisingly for the first time, I think I miss my brother too.

I brought “If I Get To Five” by Fred Epstein and Joshua Horwitz with me on this trip. Can’t remember why and where I got it from but I got it in December 2004.

(At this point, those who have decided to continue on to Edinburgh have gotten onto the bus and all suitcases have been identified and sorted. Those left on the plane have just stood up and pointed to the crew our carry-on bags. We should be going back to London soon.)

The book is about courage and character and what children can teach us about courage and character. Years into teaching and working with children plus the two heavenly additions into the family has got me into this business of kids and teens. They teach us so much, if only we would allow them to teach us. I’m just about to finish the book and I have to admit that there were tears and some flashbacks along the way.

So what is it about my brother that I missed this time? From the book p. 168 “Sibling relationships, for better or worse, never go away. You can’t divorce your brother or sister. They’re the first people you compete with for love and attention, and they’re usually destined to share more of life’s milestones with you than your spouse will. Who else remembers what you wore on Halloween when you were six? And who else saw your parents kissing or fighting? For all the inherent rivalry between siblings, they can also be one another’s lifeline in a crisis.” Though I don’t think we’ve got much competition and rivalry between us and we’ve never wore costumes nor paid attention to Halloween and we’ve never seen our parents kissed, we did unfortunately saw and heard our parents fought, mostly dad shouting and hurling abuses at mum. We’ve also had good moments with dad – dinners, kite flying, and if I remembered correctly, trips to the circus too.

A few special moments come to mind when I think of my brother. When we rode on his bike from NTU back home; when he sat next to mum while I tried to flip through my AC301 notes the day before my final exams outside dad’s ward the night he passed away; the day he broke down and cried in our kitchen and asked, “what do you want me to do?” I’ve not told him and I don’t think for that matter I’ve told anyone, that next to mum, bro is the dearest thing on earth to me. After all, since dad passed on, who’s left? This is why I didn’t think for another second when I brought him and Annie the watches at Bazel. If there is $1 left in my wallet, fifty cents will go to mum and bro will get the other half; If mum is not around, he’ll get the whole dollar.

I never got over the incident of leaving brother sitting at the back of the lorry when dad’s body was brought back home from the hospital. I remembered it was a rather chilly early morning and now all I can think of was how cold and beaten my brother would have felt when he was at the back with dad’s body. I was crying the whole journey home and I am sure it was not easy for him either. I’m ashamed of myself, my insensitivity and my selfishness. I should have gone to the back instead and let bro take the seat at the front. I still don’t think that brother would have been scared of the dead body but that he would have been sad and lost and I really should have taken that seat, or stayed with him, just for company. This, for fifteens years now, I still can’t forgive myself.

Christmas is a time of giving and celebrating love. I send cards to friends I treasure to thank them for their friendship and to wish them well. This season, I’ve had the chance to think about what I’m sorry for. I know there are things that I should have done better but I’m afraid to commit and say that I’ll do them better in the new year. I wish I could, but I’m just not that confident.

At this new school that I’m with now, I’m not as confident as I used to be in my former school. I guess this is good for my personal development, as many would say. My immediate boss is one of the best I’ve worked with and I count myself very lucky that I got to join this team. When things are not easy and comfortable, they force one to strive harder and more learning takes place. I’ve never been ambitious, but I like to learn. What I love more, is to be able to share my learning. I like to watch children learn and grow and I like to help. But I think I’ve taken a bit too long this time to “get used to” and settle down. Perhaps I’m just not good enough. Someone else better and faster would be able to do this job quicker and better. I think I’ll give myself another 6 months, and after that, I’ll decide if I want to leave or stay. I like the school and I love the kids I’m working with, I just don’t think I’m good enough for this job.

This year, I’ve “pushed” back too many kids whom I should, and would have loved to, get closer to. Between work and studies, I turned myself away many times under the cover of “self-care”. It might be the right thing to do but it is really not what I’d have liked to do. I still have one more deadline next May for the masters and quite a few things I’d like to straighten up in the department. My simple guideline at work for the past year has been to complete as much as I can, one thing at a time. I marvel at how my leaders can juggle twenty balls at the same time and still keep everything in balance. I learn to work with difficult people and think of myself as the difficult one instead. Otherwise, I am humbled by what’s happened and what’s happening everyday.

This “horrendous” day, as the Captain described it to be, turned out to be a pretty good one for me so far. Of those who got on the plane this morning, I’m sure there are at least fifty of them trying to get from London to Edinburgh for business. These must be important people in their businesses, making money-decisions affecting many others. If they can be still and calm and patient in the plane now at 1243, what have I got to complain about? So I think this is where I tell myself that when things happen, just take them as they come. At the end of the day, if we get home, we should all be thankful.

writing on BD050,
currently at Newcastle Airport waiting to take off and head back to London Heathrow
6 Dec 2010

p/s plane took off from Newcastle at 1330 and arrived safely in London Heathrow at 1430. Collected the bags at 1530 and back to Hammondsworth by 1600. All is good 

(I think I like this calm and collected me. No fuss, just move along.)

祝阿娇好运

10-09-2010


15-10-2010


29-10-2010

怎么就那么容易被刚动？
妈妈说还好当年被人带去养。。。
阿娇加油！

07-11-2010

起鸡毛疙瘩。
（黄韵玲后面在示范的那一段也是。人家的评审就是有料。）

The Star Polisher (by Leah Becks)

I have a great job in the universe of occupations. What do I do? I'm a "star polisher."
It's a very important job. If you want to know how important my job is, just go out at night and look at the stars twinkling and sparkling.

You see, I'm a teacher. The stars are the children in my class. My job is to take them in - in whatever shape they come - and shine and buff them and then send them out to take their places as bright little twinkling beacons in the sky.

They come into my room in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they're bent, tarnished, dirty, crinkly and broken. Some stars are cuddly, soft and sweet. Some stars are prickly and thorny.
As I buff, polish, train and teach my little stars, I tell them that the world cannot do without them. I tell them they can do anything they set their minds to do. I tell them they can be the brightest, shiniest stars in the sky and the world will be a better place because of them.

Each night as I look at the sky, I'm reminded of my very important job and awesome responsibility. I go and get my soft buffing cloth and my bottle of polish in preparation for tomorrow and for my class of little stars.

(One day, boss printed this poem for everyone, and gave us each a little star. She's an angel.)

grandaunt

she is 93 this year.
the other day she called at 630 in the morning
and said that her children are sending her to the old folks' home.
she asked if i was free to bring her to the temple
to see if they'd let her stay there.

she's the one on the extreme right.
her mum is the lady seated on the right.
she has so much to tell,
and she could remember so much.
all the stories of how she worked for the Brits,
how she brought up her children,
how my father was hot-tempered like my grandfather,
how her friends are all dying before her ...

she'd sneak out to buy ice cream when her daughter was not home.
she wanted me to buy durians for her, two small ones.
she said they'll soon realise what it was like to be 93.
she said that they claimed to be her children
but no one brought her a piece of mooncake for mid-autumn.
she said she could look after herself.

我就够了

陈医生说我是电脑看得太多，眼睛太累，才会满眼红丝。我心里还在想今时今日还有谁是上班不用整天看着电脑的，他就吓我说如果眼睛太干我还硬撑下去，恐怕红眼丝会常住下来。他还说长时间逼着眼睛工作，难怪我会头疼。他说这是tension headache。我说工作还是要做，他说我给你两天病假。

在家里时间也过得快。把那两个宝贝的玩具整理一下，架子上的书重新摆一摆，把妈妈瞒着我藏起来的空瓶子罐子偷偷全部丢掉，穿上鞋子出去跑它一圈，一天就过了。

今天听到两首好歌：陈奕迅的“好久不见”和阿桑的“车子”。会静下来听歌，我就知道是出问题了。

我今天唯一没有做的就是打开学校的email account。不是不愿意打开，是不敢。不知道从什么时候开始我有点怕了。一年前我是多么乐观，每天对着每天发生的事情感到多姿多彩，兴奋不已。现在我是害怕，害怕赶不上，害怕自己害怕。

老大和老二先后跟我提过要把我往上推。老二说我组织能力不错，人缘也还行，就是有时不太会说话；老大说他看过我办事，除了有时讲话结结巴巴，大致上还算可以。可我是想都不敢想。现在我都措手不及了，哪里还敢再升一级？

我真的只要家人平平安安，让我可以晚上睡得安安稳稳，偶尔和好友聚一聚闹一下，我就够了。

我相信我会幸福的

感动。

星光传奇

这个节目真的做得太好了。

顶级的裁判，每一次讲评都是那么有建设性。相比之下，我们这里那几个只会打扮得妖里妖气，上电视狐假虎威，专挑一些有的没的来讲，叫人厌烦。

陶子的主持根本就是一个前辈在带新人，字里行间都是鼓励，教导，爱护和难能可贵的亲切。

对于那些年轻的选手我更是频频被感动。有梦想，努力过，失败过，还有勇气回到擂台上赤裸裸地一关接一关地闯，非常难得。

有些节目是浪费时间，有些节目是造福人群。《新光传奇》是一个充满爱的舞台。

突然想起。。。

好歌共赏 08 Aug 2010

我是一隻小小鳥

1987年9月1日 联合早报（联合学生）

李宗盛写了这么一首不得了的歌，套上这三把声音，感动。

ran in the rain

it wasn't intended.

when i started running, the rain had already stopped and i thought the weather was too good not to run. so i put on my shoes and was just feeling grateful that I somehow enjoyed running when it started to drizzle again :)

i like running, just like i enjoy reading. i'm thankful that i can read and get to enjoy a nice book when i feel like doing so. some of the kids in school can't read and i feel sorry for them.

reading and running gets my mind off things. and i remember pottery helped too. i'm not too good with my hands but those few hours when i worked on clay, that helped.

as i was running earlier and the ipod playing, i thought of the days when i was learning how to play the violin. mum went behind dad's back to let me take lessons and we had to hide the instrument at grandma's place and practise only when dad was at work. and when everyone else was enjoying their weekends, i'd have to take bus 155 from changi to toa payoh. it was dreadful and i hated every moment of it.

so now, i tell parents they have to be present with their kids. many kids in school come from such complicated families. it is a miracle how they can still be nice to me each day.

i'm starting to enjoy my new instrument. now, i pick up my cello and practise, without being told :) this is what i love about it: i do it not because i have to do it but because i want to do it :) this is just like what sup asked, "what's the difference?" we told her that here at NLS, we do things because we want to do them, but many of our colleagues elsewhere do them because they have to. that's the difference.

running in the rain feels real, and cool. i love it :)

随笔（2）

21/02/2010
花开了也就会有花谢的时候。
真的，我等到花儿也谢了。
你不回来了吧？


10/04/2010
中午老婶打电话来说她在自度庵，肩膀酸痛难受，叫我吩咐弟弟过去帮她按一下，还说要先买一瓶正骨水。
她老人家今年93了。看她的脚肿得厉害，还硬要到庙里去帮忙。
今天我的心好酸。


30/04/2010
人千万不可以自以为是，吊起来卖。喝杯茶，吃个包子，看场电影不可以等了半年然后说“不”。我们学习生活，一定要扎扎实实，这样切开来才不会散开。在自己享受的当儿，分一点出去，让大家也快乐。

是气还是失望？

我是不太明白结婚生孩子是怎么一回事，但是我清楚人老了就会死去。其实不必老也可能死，所以才要更珍惜。要是每见一次她老人家就在日记上打一个勾，能勾上一百次，那就应该谢主保佑，祈求再来一百个勾。真搞不懂我是为了什么要这么辛苦。。。

ice kacang

老实说，我喜欢电影的配乐多过电影本身。恰到好处且首首动听，主题曲更是平易近人。

http://www.icekacangpuppylove.com/index.html

也喜欢一些很美的画面，拍得很美。


论演员，恐怕只有李心洁的演技还算得上自然。

从头到尾没有特高潮，也没有会打瞌睡的地方，平平实实的, 很舒服。

"greenberg"

At least 12 persons walked out of the movie at different parts of the show. To begin with, the 200-seater theatre was only about a quarter full when the show started.

"Roger Greenberg [Ben Stiller], single, fortyish and at a crossroads in his life, finds himself in Los Angeles, house-sitting for six weeks for his more successful/married-with-children brother. In search of a place to restart his life, Greenberg tries to reconnect with old friends including his former bandmate Ivan. But old friends aren't necessarily still best friends, and Greenberg soon finds himself spending more and more time with his brother's personal assistant Florence, an aspiring singer and also something of a lost soul. Despite his best attempts not to be drawn in, Greenberg and Florence manage to forge a connection, and Greenberg realizes he may at last have found a reason to be happy."

That's really just what the whole show was about. It was a slow, plain, not-so-exciting story. It was so not the kind of Ben Stiller show we had in mind when we decided on the show.

Over dinner I asked Charles if he would have left in the middle of the show and he said no. He said he kind of liked it. He liked the details in the movie.

We also talked about why he switched from "business" to "accountancy" and that he did not get a testimonial from the secondary school. (As far as I know, everyone including those not-so-nice ones, would get a testimonial.) He also said that he would like to apply to be the torch bearer for the YOG and asked me what he should write in his application letter.

He reminded me again that I was the only one who said good things about him when his mum went to the school and shared about how he can't really work with the 18-year-olds in his class.

I really like this Charles. How did the change happen? Have you even changed? Or was it because we have never looked at you this way?

聊斋（石头）！

看“聊斋”最感动的是看到了Sugie在舞台上成熟了。比起在电视上吊儿郎当的惹人讨厌，这个他台词念得好，歌唱得好，表演生动，讨人喜欢。

最喜欢后面的“抱紧”。虽然略嫌董姿彦的歌声稍微亮了一点，但陈淑灵厚实感性的搭配，足以让人陶醉其中。后来加上Sugie和Eric的四人合唱，更是扣人心弦，叫我感动。

好歌共赏 11 Apr 2010

有生以来第一双名牌鞋

虽然比起人家的名牌这是极小儿科，但我还是有那一点花钱像流水的感觉。得意 ：）

感动三次

感动（一）The Lovely Bones
整部片子拍得很美 but the story is just too suffocating, 害我一直 take deep breaths，喘不过气。我是有点害怕看这种有离别情景的电影，比看恐怖片还要可怕。那种扣人心弦的压迫感会让我晚上做恶梦。电影看到最后面，我得到了一个启示：心要放开，世界才会变得美丽，心灵才能自由 。

感动（二）Hachiko: A Dog's Story
在飞上海途中看了这部电影。我一向都不是对狗很有兴趣，所以也没有对这部片子有多大的期望，只是觉得Richard Gere 应该不会随便接片子来拍，所以是看演员多过看戏。那里知道后来竟哭得稀里哗啦，真的很感动。对白也没有几句，但就是可以一看就明白。我想买给学生看。

感动（三）SSA Youth Musical: Spreading Humanism, Opening the Way
男主角有一张挺舞台剧的脸，和一把很诚恳的声音。虽然咬字不是很清楚，但也把台词背得一字不漏。严格来说，演得最自然的只有那个穿西装,比较高的男配角。无论神色或肢体表情都恰到好处，没有给人那种刻意在努力要把戏演好的感觉。但是看这样的演出不应该严格。这是一场诚心的表演，应该用心来看。

音乐好，舞蹈好，灯光音响也好。但是最叫我感动的是这些台前幕后的，都是不拿分文且尽心尽力地在努力，在身体力行宣扬爱与和平。演出结束后我没有即刻离去。我呆坐地在想是哪一股力量让他们这么棒，这么积极，这么谦虚，这么有礼貌，这么热情。其实答案很简单。在他们心中，也就只有那一个答案。

dinner with ben

"Hi teachers, are you free in March? I would like to bring the three of you to either lunch or dinner, depending on your preference."

"There's no need for a call for special occasion to treat you guys. Been wanting to do that for a while. Have long regarded you as people who matters in my life. Till today, I'm still very thankful for the effort you have put in which asked for nothing in return."

"Hello teachers, remember the treat that I mentioned? Just checking if you have any preferred dates? I have in mind The Line. Is that okay with you? Hear from you soon!"

"Shangri-La. Is that too far? I can't think of any other good buffet in the east."

"I have not been to The Line but read from reviews that the food is quite good. What's the per head price at Rose Veranda? If it is too cheap, I'm afraid I'll have to give that a miss cuz I'm not saving for a treat on you guys. Really, don't have to save for me, it'll be money well spent."

"I really look upon you guys as important people."

"This is what people mean by 'you don't have to be rich in order to be blissful'. It is also my principle in life to remember the people who have been nice to me. Though the period was really short, you guys did nurture me into a better person. I only regret not scoring well for my 'O's but I realised that I'm not really study material. However, that does not give me any reason to forget you guys. Your thoughtfulness and generosity has struck me and I'm really thankful that I've met you guys."

Ben, compared to my peers, I'm probably one of the poorest money-wise. With an accounting degree I could have gone further but I've never once regretted the switch. Sometimes I do feel like I could have given my family more if I were richer. So I give all that I have now. I do not keep for myself, except for maybe the occasional pamper :) Other times, I feel that if I had more money, I'd be able to help more people. So now I do the little things within my means to help, one by one. We can't change the world, but we can certainly do our single best. What makes me happy and keeps me going are people like you who make the world a little nicer.

I did not teach Ben when he was in school. I taught him after he left school. He was trying to do the 'O' levels as a private candidate and needed some help. A few of us packed his schedule and took turns to tutor him in the evenings. We thought that if a kid really wanted to learn, the least we could do was to be available. It was natural for him to struggle as he was jumping from N(T) to the 'O's. What I liked about him was that he was always on time and diligent. He even brought the cup to the kitchen and washed it before he went home each time. Really, education cannot and should not just be about results. 'Kids' like Ben taught me that there is more to school and learning. Ten years down the road, should the kids in my classes now do more than okay, then I must have done something right.

Thanks Ben for dinner, and for crossing my path. Next one's on me.

三月的上海

有点冷，但是我喜欢这样的旅行。

这次去上海，没有上次去感觉到的那种繁华。没有南京步行街，没有东方之珠，就只是几个好友吃吃喝喝，走走看看，暂时把工作抛到九霄云外。短短的四天，感觉像是过了两个礼拜。虽然冷，但是晚上睡得很舒服。

又是火锅又是北京烤鸭，这些都是好友诚意的安排。买了我从来都不敢妄想的名牌皮鞋和两件外套，这些是心情轻松，意外的收获。在杭州看印象西湖，脸都被冻疆了。张艺谋真的了得。那些在表演的更是一流。我们坐着看都冷到发抖，他们还得在水上耍功夫，真是要命。

出国旅行不外就是要给心情放假。其实不管去那里，去多久或是跟谁去，要打开心门才是旅行最大的意义。

家後

歌名:家後
附註:民視「世間路」主題曲
語言:台語, 曲長:4m9s
作曲:鄭進一, 編曲:戴維雄
監製:曹俊鴻, 填詞:鄭進一


有一日咱若老　找無人甲咱有孝
我會陪你坐惦椅寮　聽你講少年的時袸你有外賢
食好食歹無計較　怨天怨地嗎袂曉
你的手　我會甲你牽條條　因為我是你的家後

阮將青春嫁治恁兜　阮對少年隨你隨甲老
人情世事已經看透透　有啥人比你卡重要
阮的一生獻乎恁兜　才知幸福是吵吵鬧鬧
等待返去的時袸若到　我會讓你先走
因為我會不甘　放你　為我目屎流

有一日咱若老　有媳婦子兒有孝
你若無聊　拿咱的相片　看卡早結婚的時袸你外緣投
穿好穿歹無計較　怪東怪西嗎袂曉
你的心　我著永遠記條條　因為我是你的家後

阮將青春嫁治恁兜　阮對少年隨你隨甲老
人情世事已經看透透　有啥人比你卡重要
阮的一生獻乎恁兜　才知幸福是吵吵鬧鬧
等待返去的時袸若到　你著讓我先走
因為我嘛不甘　看你　為我目屎流

胡夏唱家後

看第二次的时候，还是哭得稀里哗啦。其实我也不太听得懂他唱什么，只是大概知道歌词的意思。这小子说他要替他的妈妈唱给他的爸爸，我就失去控制。想想老爸病重的那段日子，妈妈一定很难过。有些事情我不一定能够明白，但是心痛这一关，我是常常都过不了。

the 29 people i met in 15 hours

It was MOE Excel Fest on 6 March 2010 and we were at Suntec City for the Innergy Award Presentation Ceremony. Met most of my former Ps and VPs - Mrs Chia, Mrs Rathi, Mr Puvan, Mr Loh and Mr Koh. When Mr Loh saw me, he told the others that I shared at his new school what we're doing at NLS now. He seemed quite pleased :) Ms Quake, who taught me History in sec 2 and is now a cluster sup was there too. Also said "hi" to Mrs E Neo and Mrs Tan, both I worked with briefly.

GOH Ms Grace Fu was exceptionally kind. She did not "grill" me with too many questions :) All award recipients had to attend the tea reception with the GOH to "mingle" with her. I thought I'd just walk around (preferably away from the GOH but within the "VIP Zone"), eat and try to look intelligent. But the official brought me to introduce to Ms Fu! Thank goodness our project was simple and real enough for me to explain and impress :) Ms Ho Peng, Director-General Education, stood next to Ms Fu the whole time and kept nodding. That was very reassuring. Thanks, Ms Ho.

Also bumped into Chew Lee, who saved me $14 for parking, Ghee Han, Qinyu and Lestin. It is nice to bump into old friends unexpectedly.

After the ceremony, Mrs Chua, Hai Siang and I went for lunch at Imperial Restaurant at the Fountain. For some reason, this lunch was not awkward at all. I am so lucky to have them as my P and VP now. The only other P I had lunch with previously is Mrs Rathi. She coached me for the HOD interview and lent me a thick file and then drove me out to have lunch. How nice and sincere can an ex-boss get?

Caught up with Soraya at Raffles City for coffee after that. We chatted, grumbled and laughed.

Next, to Paragon. My kind aunt has booked a massage appointment for me there. She often pampers me and I could really get used to that :) The massage did not turn out too great. The strokes were not hard enough and the room was a tiny bit too warm. But nonetheless, it was a relaxing afternoon I had.

Then it was off to Great World City to have dinner with Daniel Fan and Mun Mun. This was the celebration dinner for Daniel who has just completed his ACCA Degree. He is with IRAS now and would like to look for a tax job in the Big 4 or some other big companies. They were both excellent students in my class, diligent and polite. They're getting married next December. When we said "goodbye", I said "It is very nice to see both of you tonite and it is very nice to see both of you together. Stay together."

Last stop, Paradiz Centre. This is the first time I'm meeting these "kids" after they left school. This is my first form class, from 3A1 to 4A1 to 5A1. How did I survive those three years? :)

Sani, Kor Han, Sophia, Ci Hui, Bing Qing, Terrence, James, Fauzan and Danny. They have all grown up :) By this time of the day, I was pretty tired already but still enjoyed the company tremendously. Kor Han is back from Switzerland where he is doing his Masters. He is taking part in a furniture design competition on Monday. Good luck, Kor Han. James and Fauzan were there with their wives and Terrence turned up with his wife and son. We stayed at the Cafe till we were told to leave and that's almost midnight.

Danny asked the table what constitutes a good class? How can you tell that a class is a good class? He popped this question out of no where and the table fell quiet. I asked him if he had an answer in mind. I had one: A clean classroom. Before I could say that, Danny said, "A class that can still meet up after 10 years could be an answer." And I couldn't agree more.

Thanks Sophia for getting us all together for the evening and thanks to you lovely 5A1 people for turning up. I wish all of you happiness and good health.


By the time I got home, mum was already sleeping. But you were still there, of course. And that completed the day. Perfect :)

好歌共赏 28 Feb 2010

惊人到动人，动人到惊人

这些人让我的肉不停地麻了一个晚上，频频被感动。


我以为赵传已经是登峰造极了，这个丁噹实在厉害。


百听不厌的《一样的月光》，裁判们都很享受，我也很享受。于立成也是感动度十足，把之前我没那么注意的《最长的电影》唱得好真，好美。


我记得这是张雨生的歌。看卓義峰的表演，不知道为什么会想到从前。真的好感动。这些人到底是哪里来的，为什么用声音就可以这样作弄人？


在写《大海》的时候，词曲作者到底在想些什么？真是一首好歌。我们的骄傲把这首歌“温柔”化，和张雨生的不太一样，但我还是有被感动。


不常听的福建歌，好好听 ：）


还是平平实实的好。大概没有多少年轻的新加坡人知道这首歌了吧？


年轻版的《海啸》，好听。


出乎意外的好。我一直以为他会出错，但他就是没有。Impressed. 把Eagles 的"Desperado"诠释得很棒。我想封他为“大师”级的唱将。连裁判都玩起来了，真是厉害。


看胡夏在短时间内成熟，成长，我祝福他可以这样下去，继续加油，用歌声感动人，造福人群。

理想的下午

Richard托Wendy从上海带来舒国治的《理想的下午》。封面上除了书名还写了“关于旅行也关于晃荡”九个字。

翻开来，Richard以他端正的字迹写道：“关于旅行，直觉认为会是你喜欢的。附上一张用我亲自在苏州天平山捡的枫叶制作的书签。祝愿一切顺心。”

书我还没看，但是朋友从远远送过来的祝福我收到了。

这样，也算是一个理想的下午吧？

跟BK还有从美国回来过年的Angela用过午饭后，回家再和妈妈喝一杯咖啡，吃两个黄梨酥。这样何尝又不是一个理想的下午？

幸福就是这样简单。

a piece of good news

I was surprised to receive a sms from Daniel Fan this afternoon.

DF- "mr tan, i finally passed my acca."
me- "congratulations! this calls for a treat! name the time and place. been a long time since we met."
DF - "weeknites are better for u, rite?"
me- "can, let me know. and congrats once again. good for u! i'm proud of u and very happy for u too."
DF- "thanks ya, i am so happy. took me 3 heart-aching years. arghh."

Then we went on about what to eat and when to meet and I said that he can decide since it is to celebrate his graduation and that I'll be paying.

DF- "oh please. i insist on paying. let me hv the honour since u have given us so much as a teacher in the past."

The conclusion is that I'll pay this time and he'll take the next one.

*******************

Daniel Fan is probably the brightest boy I've taught. Not the most hardworking nor the most diligent, but certainly one of the smartest.

What I remember most about him is that I "killed" him at his prelims. In my younger and naive days as a teacher, I felt the need to be smarter than my pupils and had to outsmart them and let them know who ruled the class. That year, the class was so good that I had to dig out my A level books to set questions for the O level prelim. I modified the questions, spent days crafting each question so that I could test as many concepts as I can in one single question and ... I did it.

A few pupils still did relatively well for the paper as they stuck to the rules and attempted all the questions and got the "format" marks. But Daniel was too adamant. He just could not admit that he could not find the figures. He'd rather let go of the marks than to admit that he could not solve it. He just kept trying for the whole three hours. He didn't fail, but he didn't do too well either.

After the exams, I felt kind of bad and worried that I might have demoralised him and the others. What if they give up now and think that they are not going to do well in the actual exams anyway, so why bother to work hard anymore? But thank goodness he got the distinction he so deserved for the actual O level paper.

You see, he stuck to his guts and I admire him for that.

Daniel, thanks. You made my day. Thanks for the sms this afternoon. Thanks for sending me the good news and most of all, thanks for being the quiet, attentive and smart boy who sat in my class years ago. I am so glad we met.

the other two

met up with stephanie and yuyan too.

steph came over from jakarta with her boyfriend. we met on friday at wheelock's starbucks. this girl kept in touch with me even when she was in the states. she called, sent cards and gifts and we met for lunch once, i think, when she came back. i only taught her cme. not really teach. i don't think i taught much. we did all those life skills stuff, tell stories, watch movies, write letters. that's about all i did with her class. but strangely, those she remembers :)

yuyan i taught accounts. this is a very diligent and well-behaved boy in class. he sent me a sms two weeks ago inviting me to a gathering. he was going to start his national service and wanted to party. i did not go to that gathering but we met up on the same day i met stephanie, about 11pm. we went to simpang bedok. this is one boy i know who will always be dependable. on the following monday, he came to NLS and we had lunch. such a thoughtful young man.

i wish both of you well. and i know you will be.

thanks Peter, thanks Teck Koon

tonite is another one of those where i feel like perhaps i've done something right. not that i might have had anything to do with them being who they are now, but more because i hv the good fortune of seeing them again, all nice and proper.

peter dropped out, like he said tonite, quietly. he's got his degree and has already secured a job at the IR. he thought that tonite he might have "jitters" meeting me, but actually felt very "at peace" :)

teck koon came in a long-sleeve shirt and dress pants. he is doing accounts now. he also went a big round and today is all decent and pleasant.

we ate at tampines mall and before we said bye bye, peter said that we could go to his friend's place at siglap next time. that place serves food and drinks and we could chill there. and he said it'd be "cool" to drink with a teacher. how silly :)

these two, i remember. they were in the band. and i think i taught teck koon in class too. he was quiet but mixed with "bad" company. Peter often got into trouble. for what, i can't remember.

but all those are not important anymore. peter himself said that it was silly, to do those silly things. when a "kid" says that, i think he has come a long way. teck koon says that he is busy with work but he still wants to study. he said that he must at least go get a degree.

the funny thing is that they still come back to you :) like with charles, i don't think i've spoken to these two this much when they were in school. and yet, we could sit at a dinner table years later and talked about things that happened years ago.

a very pleasant evening.

i am so happy for the two of you.

thanks Peter, thanks Teck Koon.

又是一把会叫人眼睛湿湿的歌声

奕迅啊，奕迅

为什么你要唱这些那么让人心痛的歌？

好歌共赏 23 Jan 2010

折磨人的晨跑

你一定以为我会说周末一大早起身跑步最折磨人，但那却是为了让我维持平静，维持镇定。

跑着跑着，为什么泪水又跟汗水交叉落下？像2008年12月在台中Cali的跑步机上；像阿桑死去那个下午我边跑边哭听完她那张“寂寞在唱歌”。今天让我莫名其妙开始掉眼泪的是黄小琥的“没那么简单”。

我快快跑，因为我想要冲出这个困境，冲到一个我可以大声叫喊的地方。

我慢慢跑，因为我害怕跑到终点了又怎么样？不是说跑完全程就会有奖牌吗？最起码也要有一丝成就感，不是吗？但是这次会有吗？

在快跑与慢跑之间，我的小脑袋里面反复不停地在重播发生了的事，还有彩排那些我想发生的事。脚动得快，脑筋也在转得快；脚动得慢，脑精还是在快快地转动着。

终点就是起点，像人生一样。离那个点还差大约五百米，我几乎喘不过气想要放弃，想要不跑了开始走的时候，不知道那里来的牛力让我拼了这一条38岁不值钱的老命，一直冲下去。直到过了那个点，我才“咳，咳，咳”地拼命呼吸。

我会又开始冲是因为那是我的直觉，那个是最原始的我。撕开面具的我是没有耐性的。我需要有一个想得到看得到的终点，让我努力冲过去。我可以咬紧牙关毫无顾虑地冲过去。但是这次我错了。

我不是一个会有理想有梦的人。从小到大我都不会想未来，想前途。我是一个没有计划没有志气的家伙。但是这次我错了。

给我一个重来的机会。

求求你让晨跑不再折磨我。

the difference

some kids are just different.

can we really blame them for being unmotivated and uninterested?

i thought my life was tough growing up. so i thought.

we were not well to do, but we had a clean home and i slept on a bed.

guess we can't really blame them for being unmotivated and uninterested.

can we?

p/s despite the unpleasant feeling from the home visit, the day ended well with a nice, comfortable time over dinner and ... tha'N'ks :)

老爸的朋友送的

这是我们搬来这里后老爸的朋友送的。

1983年至今，我就长大了这么多。

1983年至今，这个钟还是停了。要长年累月坚守岗位，为一户人家任劳任怨地嘀嗒着，它是老爸走后给我留下来的回忆。每天向它望去几次，今天想要把它丢了，我就是下不了手，像是我永远不会忘了死去的人一样。


看老爸写得一手那么端正的字。他就是一个那么仔细的人，什么事都要记得清清楚楚。

每次一个人到“修德”去，我都要变回那个十来岁的孩子。

岁月真是不饶人。从前在学校写作文的时候，哪里知道自己在写些什么。现在感叹光阴似箭，其实是在惋惜自己没有好好过日子，愚笨地浪费了空气。

老爸在这个家各个角落都留下了些许东西。有时候夜深人静，我就会到处看看，仿佛老爸还在。

好想听他再骂我一次。

my day in 60 seconds

6.30am Wakes up
6.55am Drives off to school
7.25am Arrives at school. For some reason, traffic was a bit slow this morning
8.00am Flag raising ceremony
8.05am Briefs 4 students on "Open Little Eyes" Conference
8.15am Drives off to Chris' mum-in-law's funeral wake
9.05am Back in school. Never did get to the wake because of one wrong turn at the complicated Kallang area and was not going to be late for class, so we turned back.
9.15am Class starts
10.15am Class ends
10.20am Second attempt to get to the wake
11.20am Back in school. Second attempt was successful
11.25am Quick bite before class
11.45am Class starts
2.45pm Class ends. Exhausted
3.00pm Drives off to gym
4.20pm Leaves gym
4.55pm Arrives at clinic for H1N1 jab
5.20pm Back home to grab a sandwich
5.35pm Drives off to cello class
5.55pm Arrives at Sengkang. Forgotten that Allison has gone away. Somehow was quite relived because was really quite tired by now
6.25pm Back home to nap
7.45pm Wakes up. Caught a bit of korean drama on tv
8.05pm Drives off to Giant with mum. Had dinner there
9.40pm Leaves Giant and heads to bro's place
10.15pm Leaves bro's place
10.35pm Back home and got scared by the list of unread mails

午夜慢跑

今天晚上我想看电影
前后发了两则简讯

哎呀！我在JB，你又不早说
不好意思,刚到伦敦机场,后个星期回去

于是我翻出手机里的相片
挑了三张
胡乱写了几句

最后还是按耐不住
找来我最可以依赖的伙伴
ipod和跑步鞋
跑步去

曲目如下：
1。遗憾 - 方炯镔
2。圆缺 - 杨千桦
3。没那么简单 - 黄小琥
4。自己的电影 - 周惠，成龙
最后是 English Folk Song Suite

回到起点还在喘气的时候
耳机里是刘畊宏在唱他的佳作
彩虹天堂

这样一个晚上
是应该可以平静下来的
可是 。。。

随笔（1）

16/12/2009
那天的心情
就好像车子开进隧道一样
茫然

09/01/2010
七点不到我们就起身跑步去
然后又毫无顾虑地痛快吃一顿
咖啡，烧卖，云吞面
口口的满足
美好的一天

04/03/2009
他问我 'N' 是哪一个
我没有回答
他又再问一次 'N' 是哪一个
这次我才看到他在指着桌上的铅笔盒
我把手一指,说
这个是'N'

美。

会写词作曲的人真了不起。。。

作詞：姚若龍/ 作曲：于曉光、李偉菘/ 編曲：Terence Teo

如果命運可以訂做
如果有另一次選擇
我想我還是會
把手讓你緊握
快樂地陪你去坎坷

就算你有天變落魄
就算你老得不能動
我想我還是會
挽著你看日落
你的心疼在淚光中

嘴巴上彼此嫌麻煩
眼神中關懷那麼滿
沒說愛卻早已認定一輩子的伴
在人前從來不浪漫
在心中卻總為對方打算
最懂的人最暖的伴

就算我以後變囉唆
就算我老了有病痛
我想你還是會照顧我到最後
隱藏脆弱不眠不休

嘴巴上彼此嫌麻煩
眼神中關懷那麼滿
沒說愛卻早已認定一輩子的伴
在人前從來不浪漫
在心中卻總為對方打算
最懂的人最暖的伴

沒有辛酸沒有遺憾
什麼是陪伴
什麼是心安
你是答案

slipped in

on hind sight, it's a little scary.

2010 just slipped in. i would usually be very prepared for the new year. sorted out the files, cleared the table and gotten all the plans laid out. this time round, it is already 2nd jan and all is still a mess.

don't know where it is heading, don't know how it is going to turn out, don't know if things will be ok, don't know what's coming up.

i guess the consolation must be that i still am able to hope. to shut my eyes briefly, take in a couple of deep breaths and know that things will be all right.

may all have a healthy and beautiful 2010.